Neuroshima Hex! 3.0: The Pear
Neuroshima Hex! 3.0: The Pear Rulebook
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Description
The Pear begins with 20 HP and acts as a drop-in replacement HQ for any faction. Before play, select any available army, remove its HQ and replace it with The Pear. Such armies are now said to be Pear-Led. Do not take them lightly.
The Pear's main advantages are mobility, melee strength and the ability to strike down enemy units at a distance, but if you were beginning to think that this was a commander who was all brawn and no brains, well, mister, you've never felt the bite of his litigious, libellous pen. Rumor and innuendo are his progeny and he's certainly not above scribbling an earth-shattering op-ed piece about your out-of-season slacks. You scruffy, scumsucking buffoon.
"From the desk of Major General R. Pear, KCBE" (a letter-style joke sidebar printed on the sheet) is omitted; it contains no rules.
Front
- Secrets and Lies. Plays as a standard Net, but Enemy HQs manipulated by The Pear's Secrets and Lies may escape by performing a Release, taking 1 wound, and backing away awkwardly. A Release is any action that results in an Enemy HQ voluntarily leaving a hex manipulated by The Pear (e.g. Move, Tunneling, etc).
The Pear and other HQs. As per Article 3 of the Lake Geneva Convention, The Pear, like a typical HQ, cannot damage enemy HQs with its Ranged or Melee Attacks.
Ability. Once per turn The Pear may move to an adjacent unoccupied hex and/or turn in any direction by discarding two tiles. He's a fidget, this one.
The front face of the tile is printed with a hex diagram showing The Pear with the number 0 and the number 1 labels; the printed numbers are the only text on the diagram.
Back (100% Tournament Legal)
- Violet. Simultaneous Melee and Ranged attacks. Types 73 words per-minute. Handles all mail.
- Grapes. Hits the first enemy unit in line of fire, dealing damage based on distance. 1 hex away = 3 wounds, 2 hexes away = 2 wounds, 3 hexes away = 1 wound, 4+ hexes away = No damage, but still a very sticky experience.
- Mother. Disables enemy units, simultaneously inflicting 3 wounds during The Pear's initiative phase. Still dating your Uncle. Airquotes.
- Peach. The Pit enters the adjacent hex and can travel up to two additional hexes, not necessarily in a straight line, and inflicts 3 wounds on the first enemy it hits. Call it affection.
- Sherry. At the beginning of a Battle, a swig of Sherry completely obliterates the adjacent enemy tile.
- The Branches. This tangled trouble provides double Ranged Attack & Armor.
Ability (back face). Once per turn The Pear may move to an adjacent unoccupied hex and/or turn in any direction. We told you he was a fidget and now you've woken him.
Transcriber note: the Peach text reads "The Pit enters the adjacent hex" as printed. The subject of the ability is The Pear's tile, so "The Pit" is likely a misprint for "The Pear", but it is transcribed as printed here and has not been corrected.
Transcriber note: the back-face hex diagrams are printed with the numbers 1 through 6 around their edges; the numbers are the only text on the diagrams, and the list above follows the printed numbering.
Strategy Notes
Tactical Advice (as printed): The Pear is most effective when in the center of the board giving you the option of disabling your enemy's HQ or fleeing from his more powerful units. If all else fails, you simply flip The Pear over and continue play. You. Jerk.
Playing Against the Pear (as printed): While the Pear's Melee Attacks can be devastating its Ranged Attack faces are particularly vulnerable to strikes from armored units. Pears are soft fruits and don't do well under the tyres of fighting vehicles.
Components
Components list (as printed): 1 Pear tile (reversible), 2 typos, 1 Net token (lost during shipping or maybe it rolled under your couch), 1 replacement prostate, and one (1) rulebook.
The publisher credits block at the foot of page 2 (designer, manual, graphic design, production, publisher address, and thanks) is omitted as attribution, not rules.