Muffin Time
Muffin Time Rulebook
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Aim of the Game
To win the game and become the master of all things muffin, you'll need to start your turn with exactly 10 cards in your hand.
Setting Things Up
Setting up this game is really, really easy. First, shuffle the deck for as long as you can be bothered. Next, place it in the middle of the table/room/dog and choose someone trustworthy to deal out 3 cards to each player, face-down. All other cards go in the middle — this will become the future discard pile.
Game Time
The person who suggested playing the game gets to go first. Why? Because they're a control freak. You can play clockwise or counter-clockwise – nothing in life matters anyway.
It's a Trap
At the very start of your turn, you can place 1 trap card from your hand (if you want). It goes face-down in front of you, and sits there menacingly until a player activates it. As soon as this happens, flip it over and read it out loud. Once the effects have been resolved, it goes in a face-up discard pile next to the deck.
Once placed, these trap cards no longer count towards the number of cards in your hand, and you can only have a maximum of 3 in front of you at any time. If you want to add a new trap, you can discard 1 of your placed traps and replace it with another.
Trap Cards (examples)
- We There Yet? — if another player complains about the game taking too long, steal their cards.
- Who Ate This? — if another player eats any food, steal 3 of their cards.
- Bye, World — if another player leaves the room, steal 5 of their cards.
Action
Now you have 2 choices: you can either draw 1 card from the deck or you can play 1 action card from your hand. Action cards will usually help you gain cards or disrupt the other players. Sometimes both!
Action Cards (examples)
- Got Your Nose — steal 1 card from another player.
- No, Llama! No! — all players who can't drive discard 1 card.
- Hold This — steal another player's hand and give them your own.
Whenever you play an action card, read out loud what it says so everyone can hear. Afterwards, send that card to the discard pile. When you're finished, it's time for the next player's turn.
Hold It Right There
If something happens and you're unhappy about it, you can whip out a counter card and stop another player in their tracks. You can play these whenever you like, even when it's not your turn.
Counter Cards (examples)
- Not Today! — stop the current action, trap or counter card.
- Dog With a Knife — stop the current trap card.
- No!!! — stop another player's action card and steal that card from them.
Remember!
Make sure you read your counter cards very carefully before you play them. Also, mini-games can't be countered. Let people have fun, you absolute goblin.
Muffin Time
At any point in the game, as soon as you've got exactly 10 cards in your hand, you must shout:
"IT'S MUFFIN TIME!"
This warns the other players that you're about to win and gives them a chance to try and stop you. If you have more or less than 10 cards, you don't have muffin time. (Sorry about that.)
If you manage to survive and start your next turn with exactly 10 cards in your hand, then congratulations – you've won!
If you didn't say "it's muffin time!", your victory won't count and you'll have to wait until your next turn. Bet you feel pretty stupid now, huh?
Any More Questions?
Can I say "it's muffin time!" when it's not my turn? Yes! If you end up with exactly 10 cards during someone else's turn, you still say "it's muffin time".
Was my trap/counter card too late? Maybe! If you're using a trap card or counter card, you should be pretty speedy. If it's already the next player's turn, you're probably too late.
Do I get to look at a player's cards before stealing them? No! If a card says "steal", it means take a card at random, without looking (unless it specifically says otherwise).
What happens if multiple cards are played at once? Start with the first card that was played, resolve it, then move on to the next one until you've caught up.
What happens if something happens that wasn't covered in the rules? Argue about it until a majority of players agree on an outcome. Try not to resort to violence.