Discount Salmon
Discount Salmon Rulebook
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Premise
Players are fishmongers whose supply comes exclusively from Lake Miasma, notoriously renowned as the world's most contaminated body of water. Every single thing that comes out of that cesspool has SOMETHING wrong with it. The player that can salvage the most fish from this storied pond will be the "winner."
Contents
- 25 Lake Miasma fish cards
- 81 modifier cards [63 positive blue cards & 18 negative red cards]
- 1 deep fryer cart
Setup
Shuffle the Lake Miasma fish cards, and form Lake Miasma by spreading them out face down in a lake-shaped pile equidistant from all players. Shuffle the modifier cards and deal five to each player. Place the remaining cards in two approximately equal facedown stacks alongside the Lake Miasma fish cards so all players can reach them.
Gameplay
- The player who hates fish the most goes first. In the case that all players equally love (or hate) fish, the player who most recently ate fish goes first. This player also receives the deep fryer cart which should be placed in front of them.
- The first player randomly selects a card from the Lake Miasma pile and quickly flips it face up in the center of the play area. (Be sure to flip the card away from yourself. Don't slowly flip it towards yourself and stare at it; this is cheating and cheaters are lame.) The flipped card is now the target fish for all players.
- Once the card is revealed, all players quickly look at the fish to see which problem(s) it has. Players look at the modifier cards in their hands to determine if they can resolve the fish's problem(s), or if they would like to add problems to prevent other players from resolving the fish.
- At this point, players race to play their cards face up on the target fish.
- The player who revealed the fish must use the same hand to play their modifier cards.
- A player can play up to 3 modifier cards from their hand at once. These cards can be all positive, all negative or a mix. Players can play more than one set of cards on a single fish. Once played, cards cannot be unplayed. Only invalid cards are returned to the player's hand.
- Cards are considered invalid if:
- The positive modifier card does not fix any current issues (e.g. Perfume played when the fish is not Stinky).
- The negative modifier card is a copy of an existing issue (e.g. Mustache played when the fish is already Ugly).
- The cards closest to the bottom of the stack are considered to have been played first and must be checked before any cards on top are considered.
- A player does not have to completely fix the fish to play cards. Players can partially fix a fish by playing valid modifier cards on it and then IMMEDIATELY drawing back up to five cards, but any player can fix the remaining problems to claim the fish.
- Players may reapply a problem that has already been fixed, as long as they are not duplicates of unfixed problems. e.g. A Dry & Ugly fish that's had Lotion played on it can be made Dry again with Blistering Hot Sun, but cannot be made uglier with a Mustache.
Problems and Modifier Cards
| Problem (Icon) | Positive Modifier | Negative Modifier |
|---|---|---|
| Stinky (Odor Lines) | Perfume | Rotten Eggs |
| Ugly (Ugly Face) | Make-up | Mustache |
| Dry (Cactus) | Lotion | Blistering Hot Sun |
| Not a Fish (Boot) | Fish Costume | Fish Decoy |
| Toxic (Radioactive) | Antidote | Nuclear Waste |
Special Cards
- Blender: resolves all valid problems with a fish at once. When the Blender is played, the player claims the fish and all the red and blue cards previously played on it as usual.
- Andrew the Hungry Cat: runs away with the fish. All red and blue cards played on that fish, Andrew and the fish are discarded and no one scores that fish this round. Whoever played the Andrew card reveals the next fish, and play continues.
Stalemates
Sometimes no single player has all the cards to fix the target fish and no players are willing to risk a partial fix. This is declared after about five seconds of complete inactivity from all players. In this case, the player with the deep fryer cart will happily claim the target fish and all cards played atop it as is. This player is highly encouraged to make frying sounds or bark out street vendor patter as they do this.
How to Use the Deep Fryer Cart
When the deep fryer cart is used, its owner must pass it to the player on their left. After the fish which caused the stalemate is claimed, all players may discard up to two cards if they wish and draw their hand back up to five, to decrease the chances of another stalemate.
Scoring & Game End
When all the fish from Lake Miasma have been claimed or there are not enough modifier cards for each player to draw back up to a hand of five, the game is over. Each player calculates their score by counting the number of Lake Miasma fish cards they successfully claimed (yes, the tires count). In case of a tie, the player who additionally claimed the most negative modifier cards will be declared the winner. If there is still a tie, the player who additionally claimed the most positive modifier cards will be declared the winner.