Dirty Words
Dirty Words Rulebook
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Preparation for this game
Plan to play this game with someone you love (or would like to). The following are suggested before starting the game:
- Soft lighting: but not so soft that you can't read the dice
- Music: whatever you turn on, or turns you on
- Drinks: BYO (or take from your host's fridge)
- Attire: optional (on or off)
- Location: your place or mine
WARNING: NO ATTEMPT should be made to play this game in public! The manufacturer disclaims responsibility for any such attempt.
NOW, if you are still with us, read the instructions!
Be sure these parts are included in your game:
- 23 Dice
- Score Pad
- Sand Timer
- Pencil
- Shaker (bottom of the packaging tube)
Object
The object of the game is to use as many of the 23 dice as possible in the three minutes allotted to form logically correct sentences. All sentences must intersect at one or more points.
- Correct: They desire her lips
- Incorrect: They lips her desire
Instructions
A. Any number of consenting adults may play. Create two or more equal teams of players. If there are only two players, you can just play with yourself.
B. It doesn't make a damn bit of difference who goes first, so to start, the first team places all 23 dice in the shaker, mixes the dice thoroughly (shaking the tube is generally a good way to accomplish this!), and rolls all the dice onto the playing surface.
C. Invert the timer immediately. Begin forming sentences. Play stops when the timer runs out.
IMPORTANT!: Any blank dice rolled may be used as any word the players desire. It should be noted, however, that blank dice have no point value when calculating the point total.
D. Any noun may be made plural. Example: Man to Men or Co-ed to Co-eds
E. Any verb may have an -s, -ing, -ly, or -ed added to suit the sense of the particular sentence it is used in. Example:
- I touch
- She touches
- You are touching
- We touched
(Note: the ending of -pery may also be added to the verb slip, making it the adjective slippery.)
F. You may use any punctuation you like! This is one time where you don't need to panic if you have a missing period.
Scoring
Five points are scored for each die used at the end of the three minutes. Deduct three points for each die not used. (Note: Any die used in two sentences is given a double value, i.e. 10 points.)
Example of Scoring
(The printed example is a crossword-style grid of dice; the grid is not reproduced here.)
Using the grammar rules stated previously, the above sentences could read: She kissed his soft ear. / She touched his moist lips. / His bite is why it burns. / His love is sweet. / The burning started you moaning.
Score: A total of 20 dice are used, and the words "she," "his," "his," "is" and "burn" are used twice. 15 dice are used once, yielding 15 x 5 = 75 points, plus five dice used twice, yielding 5 x 10 = 50 points. This gives a total score of 125 points. Now, subtract three points from this score for each unused die (3 x 3 = 9 points) and the score for this round is 125 - 9 = 116 points.
Winning the Game
The suggested game length is three rounds... if you can last that long. The person/team with the highest score at the end of the game is declared the winner, and presented with an M.D.W. (Master of Dirty Words).